We had not grown used
to being close, with nothing
held back between us,
and yet the parting itself
turns out to be hard to bear

Meaning

We never grew used to being close, with nothing held back between us; and still the parting is hard to bear.

Commentary

Part One: Miotsukushi

　Word came that a daughter had been born at Akashi, and Genji, judging that no capable person would be found in the country, chose as her nurse the daughter of a gentlewoman who had served his late father. Her own father dead and her house fallen into ruin, the woman lived very meagerly and was glad of the unlooked-for offer. Before she set out he called on her privately, explained the matter, and spoke this poem half in jest. She answered.

　"Kanete yori" is from some time back. "Hedatenu naka" is a close relation with nothing kept back. "Naraneba" concedes that they had not been on such terms. "Oshi" is to find something hard to give up. The paradox—no intimacy, yet a parting hard to bear—is light banter, a pretence of holding her back. From here on the chapter keeps sending messengers and nurses between Akashi and the capital, and they become the thread that binds the two places.

Author

Murasaki Shikibu

Source

Genji Monogatari

Other

We had not grown used to being close, with nothing held back between us, and yet the parting itself turns out to be hard to bear

We had not grown used
to being close, with nothing
held back between us,
and yet the parting itself
turns out to be hard to bear