For what cause is it
that this one self of mine, which
counts for nothing here,
is thought of with bitterness
and heard of with tenderness

Meaning

For what cause is it that this single self of mine, which counts for nothing, should be thought of with bitterness and heard of with tenderness?

Commentary

Part Two: Yugiri

　The Fallen Leaf Princess answered the retired Chancellor's poem with this one. Why, she asks, should a person who counts for nothing be called either pitiable or resented—implying, without stating it, that none of this has been of her choosing. She had not asked for the position she is in: she had lost her mother, been refused permission to take vows by her father, and been overborne by Yugiri. The exchange brings that passivity into the open again.

　"For what cause" asks the reason. "This one self which counts for nothing" is a way of speaking humbly of oneself. "Thought of with bitterness" takes up his resentment; "heard of with tenderness" takes up his pity. She sets his two feelings back in front of him in the same order and shows that she recognizes neither of them in herself—a firm denial inside very modest language.

Author

Murasaki Shikibu

Source

Genji Monogatari

Other

For what cause is it that this one self of mine, which counts for nothing here, is thought of with bitterness and heard of with tenderness

For what cause is it
that this one self of mine, which
counts for nothing here,
is thought of with bitterness
and heard of with tenderness