Am I, who served as
guide, the one to lose his way
coming back again,
on this road in the half dark
where my heart has not gone through

Meaning

Am I, who served as guide, the one to lose his way returning along this road in the half dark, with my heart unsatisfied?

Commentary

Part Three: Agemaki

　Kaoru brought Niou to Uji and led him to Naka no Kimi. He himself passed the night near Oigimi and got nothing. At dawn, with his mind still unsettled, he spoke this poem, and she answered. From this night the fortunes of the two sisters begin to move fast.

　Shirube is the guide, the part he had played for Niou. Kaerite is "on the contrary" with kaeru, to return, sounding through it. Kokoro mo yukanu is to be unsatisfied, and yukanu, not going, belongs with the road. A man who works for another and is left with nothing himself is set into the picture of a road in the half dark.

Author

Murasaki Shikibu

Source

Genji Monogatari

Other

Fencing off the wide field where the maidenflowers have come into bloom, is it with so small a heart that you rope it as your own
The maidenflowers of Asa Field in the deep mist of the morning: only the one who has set his heart on them ever sees
Think, then, of a heart that spends its days in the dark on this side and that, if you go astray upon a road no one sent you down
Do you take it for an ordinary matter— that I made my way parting the bamboo grass on a road so deep in the dew

Am I, who served as guide, the one to lose his way coming back again, on this road in the half dark where my heart has not gone through

Am I, who served as
guide, the one to lose his way
coming back again,
on this road in the half dark
where my heart has not gone through