Wanting so to know
the drug by which one may die
of longing at last,
shall I go into the snow
of the hills and leave no trace

Meaning

Longing to know the drug by which one may die of love, shall I go into the snowy hills and leave no trace behind?

Commentary

Part Three: Agemaki

　The most extreme of the poems Kaoru spoke to himself in mourning for Oigimi. Unable to bear the loss, he says that he would rather disappear. This despair inclines him toward taking vows, and at the same time leads on to the search for Ukifune, who resembles the woman he lost.

　"A drug by which one may die" reverses the familiar drug of immortality, and the inversion is striking. Yukashi is to want to see or to have. To leave no trace in the snowy hills is to go into the mountains and be heard of no more, with kiyu, to vanish, belonging to snow. The set forms of love-lament are used, and behind them the real choices of religion or flight can be seen.

Author

Murasaki Shikibu

Source

Genji Monogatari

Other

Wanting so to know the drug by which one may die of longing at last, shall I go into the snow of the hills and leave no trace

Wanting so to know
the drug by which one may die
of longing at last,
shall I go into the snow
of the hills and leave no trace