天の戸を雲ゐながらもよそに見て
昔のあとを恋ふる月かな
昔のあとを恋ふる月かな
- Roma-ji
-
Amanotoo kumoinagaramo yosonimite mukashinoatoo kōrutsukikana
- English Translation
-
The gate of heaven—
and though I dwell in the clouds
I watch it as one
apart—the moon, longing for
the traces of what has been
- Meaning
- Though it dwells in those same clouds, it watches the gate of heaven as something apart, and longs for the traces of what used to be—this moon.
- Commentary
-
Section 25: Life in Court Service
On the twenty-fifth of the twelfth month the author was summoned for the Buddha-Names rite at the princess's residence, and went, thinking it would be for that night only. Some forty women sat there in white robes over deep-dyed glossed silk. Hiding behind the woman who had brought her in, she showed herself among them only faintly, and withdrew at daybreak. Snow was drifting down, and the moon of a bitterly cold dawn lay faintly on the deep-dyed silk of her sleeve, so that the sleeve looked truly like a face wet with tears. On the road home she made a poem.
Having once gone out like this, she might in time have grown used to service, lost herself in the world, and—so long as no one thought her perverse—come to be treated like anyone else; but her parents, understanding nothing of it, shut her up at home before long. Not that her circumstances turned brilliant on the instant; the outcome was as far from her groundless expectations as could be. She murmured one more poem to herself, and left it at that.
Afterwards, distracted by one thing and another, she forgot even the tales, and once her mind had turned wholly practical she came to regret the long years spent lying about to no purpose without devotions or pilgrimage. Is there a Shining Genji in this world? she thought; this is no age in which a Captain Kaoru hides a woman away at Uji; what madness, what a worthless turn of mind—and yet she could not live wholly by such practicality either. In time, drawn along by a young woman she had been obliged to send in answer to a summons for one, she began to attend from time to time. Beside those who were at ease with everything, she was neither one of the young women nor senior enough to be deferred to, and was kept at a distance like an occasional guest; but since she was not staking everything on service, she found the position easy enough.
Attending in the imperial palace, with the dawn moon very bright, she thought that Amaterasu Ōmikami, in whom she put her faith, must reside there, and on a bright moonlit night around the fourth month she went quietly to worship. The next night too the moon was bright, and as she and others sat by the opened eastern door of the Fujitsubo looking at it, the sound of the Umetsubo Consort going up to the emperor's apartments was full of quiet elegance; when the others said that had the late princess lived she would have gone up in just such a way, it moved her, and she made a poem.
In winter, on a night with no moon and no snow but the whole sky clear and cold with starlight, she talked until dawn with the women in the great lady's apartments, and at daybreak they parted and went their ways. Someone who remembered this sent a poem, and the author, feeling the same, replied. Lying before her mistress, she heard the birds on the pond crying and beating their wings all night, and murmured a poem, which a woman lying beside her heard and answered. And on a day when she and a friend passed the hours talking with the sliding door between their rooms pushed open, someone who kept calling that friend down said that if it were truly urgent she would come—and the author sent her a poem attached to a withered pampas stem.
The author is known only as the daughter of Sugawara no Takasue. She entered the service of Princess Yūshi, daughter of Emperor Go-Suzaku. The "late princess" is Yūshi's mother, already dead by this time. The Umetsubo Consort is the consort whose apartments were the Umetsubo, and the Hakase no Myōbu a lady in waiting at the hall of the sacred mirror. Of "the woman of the same mind," "the woman lying beside her" and "the friend," the text gives neither name nor station.
A bright moonlit night around the fourth month, by the opened eastern door of the Fujitsubo in the palace.
As they sat looking at the moon, the sound of the Umetsubo Consort going up to the emperor's apartments struck them as full of quiet elegance, and the others said that had the late princess lived she would have gone up in just such a way. Hearing that is what drew the poem.
It is a solitary poem, and no reply is recorded. The scene then moves on to the exchanges with the women who talked away a winter night.
Ama no to is the gate of heaven, here the going up to the emperor's own apartments. In the second line kumoi is the sky and at the same time the palace, so that the phrase means "while dwelling in the very same place." Yoso ni mite is to look at a thing as no concern of one's own. Mukashi no ato is the trace of the days when the late princess lived. The close ends on a noun with kana, so that it is the moon that longs, while the women's own hearts are lodged in it. Ama no to, kumoi and tsuki run together as associated words, and the whole poem is built inside a single celestial scene. To stand within the place of service and yet have no part in its brilliance is set down in the two words yoso ni mite, and as in "Toshiwakure yowaakegatano tsukikageno sodeniutsureru hodozohakanaki" earlier in the section, the moon is the instrument by which she measures her own position.
- Author
- Sugawara no Takasue no Musume
- Source
- Sarashina Nikki
- Other
-
- The year at its close, the night at its breaking, and the light of the moon caught in the wet of my sleeve— how fleeting a thing it is
- How many thousand times I gathered the water parsley in the fields— and not one thing I hoped for has come to me, not a drop
- No moon in the sky, no blossom that we could see— that winter night, though, has soaked so deep into me: why should I long for it now?
- The ice of that night, that cold night, has not yet thawed here upon my sleeve, and still, as on a winter night, I weep aloud for it