Kumori yo no tsuki to waga mi no yukusue no obotsukanasa wa izure masareri

English Translation

The moon on a night
of cloud, and what is to come
of my own life — which
of the two is the more
uncertain? Tell me that.

Meaning

The moon on a clouded night, and whatever is to become of me: which of the two is the more uncertain?

Commentary

16 She Feels the Frailty of a Wife's Position

In the first year of Kōhō, when spring had passed and summer come, Kaneie took to lodging at the palace on night duty. He would come at dawn, stay through the day, and at nightfall go back again; and while she was puzzling over this, the first cry of the evening cicada was heard. Deeply moved, she spoke a poem, and he too, no doubt, found it hard to leave. Since nothing came of it, however, his heart slackened again as before. On a moonlit night, when they had been talking of trifles and there came back to her the time when they had spoken together of things that touched the heart, she said a poem; and the reply came as if in jest. He seemed dependable enough, and yet the place he appeared to regard as his own home was elsewhere, so that the world proved altogether other than she had wished. For a woman with good fortune, it is no rare thing to keep a husband of many years and to have many children; while she was left with nothing certain, and only her thoughts multiplied.
Kaneie was the third son of Fujiwara no Morosuke, and at this time lodged at the palace on frequent night duty; he would rise to be regent and chancellor. The author was a daughter of Fujiwara no Tomoyasu. The place he appeared to regard as his own home is the other house he kept as his base.
It is a moonlit night in the first year of Kōhō, and the place is the author's dwelling.
On a moonlit night, in the middle of idle talk, there came back to her the time when they had spoken together of things that touched the heart, and this poem rose to her lips.
Kaneie answered, as if in jest, with "Oshiekeru tsuki wa nishi e zo yuku saki wa ware nomi koso wa shiru bekarikere."

The opening names the moon hidden behind cloud, set down as a figure for whatever has no settled course. The second and third lines place her own future beside it, making a comparison, and the fourth brings both under a single measure. The word there means unclear and troubling, and it lays the not knowing where the moon may be over the not knowing what will become of her. The close asks which is the greater, and leaves the question open rather than answering it. The moon has served her before, at the opposite pole, in "Ikani semu yama no ha ni dani todomarade kokoro mo sora ni idemu tsuki o ba," where the moon leaving the ridge stood for her husband. Here the figure has changed into a comparison between the moon and herself: the grievance is no longer directed at him, but turned toward the precariousness of her own position.

Author

The Mother of Fujiwara no Michitsuna

Source

Kagero Nikki

Other