Kuyashiku zo nochi ni awan to chigirikeru kyō o kagiri to iwamashi mono o

English Translation

How I regret it—
"later we shall meet," I vowed,
when I should have said
"today is the very last,"
if only I had known.

Meaning

How I regret having promised that we would meet again later—if only I had said that today was the last.

Commentary

Book Eight Lament Poems 854

Headnote: "Sent to Lord Kintada when, having long been confined by illness, I happened to recover somewhat and went to the palace, where I met Kintada, later Major Controller of the Right, then serving as Chamberlain, told him I would come again in two days or so, and left; but my illness grew grave and my end drew near."
This is the sixth poem of the sequence of lament poems by poets of older times. It regrets having promised to meet again later and wishes he had said today was the last. According to the headnote, after long confinement by illness he recovered for a time, went to the palace, met Kintada, then a Chamberlain, and said he would come again in two days or so; but on leaving his illness grew grave and he neared his end, so he sent this poem to Kintada.
The author was an official of the early Heian period who served as Lesser Captain of the Right Inner Palace Guards. "Major Controller of the Right Kintada" is Minamoto no Kintada, a grandson of Emperor Kōkō, who later served as Major Controller of the Right. At this time he was a Chamberlain. He is one of the Thirty-Six Poetic Immortals.
The scene is the time when the author's illness grew grave and his end drew near, and the place is not recorded.
The direct occasion is realizing that his end had come as his illness worsened, with his promise to Kintada unfulfilled.

In the first line, "kuyashiku zo," "zo" is an emphatic binding particle, completed by the attributive "keru" in the third line. It means "to my regret."
In the second line, "nochi ni awan to," "n" expresses intention, meaning "let us meet again later." It takes up "I would come again in two days or so" from the headnote.
In the third line, "chigirikeru," "chigiru" means to promise. The poem pauses after the third line.
In the fourth line, "kyō o kagiri to," "kagiri" means the last.
In the last line, "iwamashi mono o," "mashi" is counterfactual and "mono o" concessive and exclamatory, meaning "would that I had said it." It sings, from the side of one facing death, the regret of having made a promise that cannot be kept. It corresponds to 823 of this book, in which Nōin sang that had Ōe no Yoshitoki known his fate he would not have made his vow, in regretting a promise left unkept. Where the poems before it, ending with 853, are poems of those left behind, this one is sung from the side of the one departing.

Author

Fujiwara no Suetsuna

Source

Shin Kokin Wakashu

Other