Au made no inochi mo gana to omoishi wa kuyashikarikeru waga kokoro kana - Shin Kokin Wakashu(English Translation & Meaning)

逢ふまでの命もがなと思ひしは
悔しかりける我が心かな

Roma-ji: Au made no inochi mo gana to omoishi wa kuyashikarikeru waga kokoro kana
English Translation: "Just a life enough
to last until we have met"—
so I thought, and now
how bitterly I regret
that heart of mine, that wish
Meaning: I once wished only for a life long enough to last until we met. How I regret that heart of mine now, when I long to live on.
Commentary: Book Thirteen Love Poems III 1155

Headnote: "Topic unknown."
This is the seventh and closing poem of the sequence on the early days of a love affair. The speaker regrets the heart that once wished only for a life long enough to last until the meeting; now that they have met, he wishes to live much longer. The headnote gives no topic, and the circumstances of composition are not recorded.
The author, "Saigyō Hōshi," was named Satō Norikiyo in lay life and served as a guard of the North Quarter under Retired Emperor Toba, but took holy orders in his youth and became a poet-monk. He traveled through many provinces and left a great number of poems.

The first line, "au made no," means "until we meet." Like "au ni shi kaeba" in poem 1151 of this book, it shows a way of thinking that marks the span of life by the meeting.
In the second line, "inochi mo gana to," the final particle "mo gana" expresses a wish: "that I might have life." It uses the same "mo gana" as the last line of the opening poem, "inochi to mo gana"; where that poem wished for life to end today, this one looks back on a heart that wished to live until the meeting.
The third line, "omoishi wa," means "what I thought." The attributive "shi" of the past auxiliary "ki" shows that the wish already belongs to the past.
The fourth line, "kuyashikarikeru," means "it was regrettable." The auxiliary "keru" marks a sudden realization: having met, he sees that a life lasting only until the meeting is not enough, and he regrets his former wish.
The last line, "waga kokoro kana," means "that heart of mine," closing with the exclamatory "kana." Where poem 1152 of this book frankly treasures life after the meeting, this poem shows the same feeling as regret for a former wish, bringing the sequence on the early days of love to a close.
Author: Saigyō
Source: Shin Kokin Wakashu
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