心からしばしと包むものからに
鴫の羽掻きつらき今朝かな
鴫の羽掻きつらき今朝かな
- Roma-ji
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Kokoro kara shibashi to tsutsumu mono kara ni shigi no hanegaki tsuraki kesa kana
- English Translation
-
Of my own free heart
I hide our love for a while,
and yet, even so,
like the snipe preening its wings
how painful this morning is
- Meaning
- It is my own choice to keep our love hidden for a while, and yet, like the snipe that preens its wings again and again at dawn, I am torn with thoughts—how painful this morning is.
- Commentary
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Book Thirteen Love Poems III 1179
Headnote: "Topic unknown."
This is the third poem of the sequence on the feelings of the morning after. Though it is by her own will that she hides their love for a while, she is torn with thoughts like a snipe preening its wings at dawn, and the morning is painful. The headnote gives no topic, and the circumstances of composition are not recorded.
The author, "Akazome Emon," was a daughter of Akazome no Tokimochi and became the wife of the Doctor of Letters Ōe no Masahira. She served Rinshi, wife of Fujiwara no Michinaga.
The fourth line draws on an anonymous poem in Love Poems V of the Kokinshū: "At dawn the snipe's wings / preened and preened a hundred times— / on nights you don't come / it is I who count the strokes." That poem likens being torn with thoughts again and again on nights when the lover does not come to the snipe preening its wings over and over at dawn.
The first line, "kokoro kara," means "of my own heart," "by my own choice." It shows that keeping the love secret is her own will.
The second line, "shibashi to tsutsumu," means "hiding it for a while," concealing love for fear of others' eyes.
The third line, "mono kara ni," is a concessive conjunctive particle meaning "and yet." The contradiction of the heart, that she herself hides it and yet suffers, carries into the lower verse.
The fourth line, "shigi no hanegaki," is the snipe drawing its bill through its feathers; drawing on the Kokinshū poem, it becomes an image of being torn with thoughts again and again. As an image of dawn, it is a fitting choice for a poem of the morning after.
The last line, "tsuraki kesa kana," means "how painful this morning is," closing with the exclamatory "kana." Following the preceding poem's night without even a dream, this one laments on the morning after the pain of a secret love she herself has chosen.
- Author
- Akazome Emon
- Source
- Shin Kokin Wakashu
- Prev Poem
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Kesa wa shimo nageki mo suran itazura ni haru no yo hitoyo yume o dani mide
- Next Poem
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Wabitsutsu mo kimi ga kokoro ni kanō tote kesa mo tamoto o hoshi zo wazurau