Kiekaeri aru ka naki ka no waga mi kana uramite kaeru michishiba no tsuyu - Shin Kokin Wakashu(English Translation & Meaning)

消えかへりあるかなきかの我が身かな
恨みて帰る道芝の露

Roma-ji: Kiekaeri aru ka naki ka no waga mi kana uramite kaeru michishiba no tsuyu
English Translation: Fading utterly,
scarcely here or not at all—
such is this self of mine,
like dew upon the roadside grass
as I go home in bitterness
Meaning: I have faded away until I hardly know whether I am here or not—like the dew on the roadside grass along the way I walk home in bitterness.
Commentary: Book Thirteen Love Poems III 1188

Headnote: "Next morning, after he had gone to a woman's house hoping at least to speak with her and had returned in vain."
This is the twelfth poem of the sequence on the feelings of the morning after. Like the dew on the roadside grass on the way home in bitterness, he has faded until he hardly knows whether he exists. According to the headnote, he went to a woman's house hoping at least to exchange words, returned in vain, and sent this the next morning.
The author, "Left Commander Asateru," is Fujiwara no Asateru. A son of the Regent Fujiwara no Kanemichi, he was Major Counselor and concurrently Commander of the Left Palace Guards.

The first line, "kiekaeri," means "fading utterly away." It is the same word as "kiekaeritsuru" in 1172 of this book, taking up the run of poems on a self vanishing like dew.
The second line, "aru ka naki ka no," means "such that I hardly know whether I exist."
The third line, "waga mi kana," means "such is this self of mine," with a pause after the exclamatory "kana."
The fourth line, "uramite kaeru," means "going home in bitterness." Where in the preceding poem he returned because he was unwell, this poem sings of the bitterness of returning in vain without meeting.
The last line, "michishiba no tsuyu," uses the same words as "michishiba no tsuyu" in the third and fourth lines of the preceding poem. There he imagined vanishing together with the dew; here he makes himself the very dew on the roadside grass, already fading, and closes on a noun.
Author: Fujiwara no Asateru
Source: Shin Kokin Wakashu
Prev Poem: Tare yukite kimi ni tsugemashi michishiba no tsuyu morotomo ni kienamashikaba
Next Poem: Asaborake okitsuru shimo no kiekaeri kure matsu hodo no sode o misebaya