Uramiwabi mataji ima wa no mi naredomo omoinarenishi yūgure no sora - Shin Kokin Wakashu(English Translation & Meaning)

恨みわび待たじ今はの身なれども
思ひ慣れにし夕暮れの空

Roma-ji: Uramiwabi mataji ima wa no mi naredomo omoinarenishi yūgure no sora
English Translation: Worn out by resentment,
though I'm one who says, "No more,
I will no more wait,"
how used I've grown to longing
for you in the evening sky.
Meaning: Worn out with resentment, I am one who has resolved, "I will wait no more," and yet how accustomed my heart has grown to longing beneath the evening sky.
Commentary: Book Fourteen Love Poems IV 1302

Headnote continued from the preceding poem: "On the topic 'Love That Met and Then Could Meet No More,' at the poetry contest of the third month of Kennin 1."
This is the fourth poem of the sequence on love that met and then could meet no more. Weary of resentment, I have resolved to wait no more, the speaker says, yet the evening sky is one my heart has grown used to. Continuing from the preceding poem, it was composed on the topic "Love That Met and Then Could Meet No More" at the poetry contest of the third month of Kennin 1.
The author, "Jakuren the Priest," had the lay name Fujiwara no Sadanaga; a nephew of Fujiwara no Shunzei, he was adopted as his son. He was appointed a compiler of the Shinkokinshū but died before its completion.

The first line, "uramiwabi," means "worn out with resentment and grief."
The second line, "mataji ima wa no," means "I will not wait; now it is over." "Ji" expresses negative intention.
The third line, "mi naredomo," is concessive: "though I am such a one."
The fourth line, "omoinarenishi," means "grown used to thinking so." Even after resolving not to wait, when evening comes the waiting heart rises again by habit.
The last line, "yūgure no sora," ends on a noun. Evening is the hour of waiting for a lover's visit, and the scene shows a heart that looks up at the sky even while saying it will not wait.
Author: Jakuren
Source: Shin Kokin Wakashu
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