嘆かじな思へば人につらかりし
この世ながらの報いなりけり
この世ながらの報いなりけり
- Roma-ji
-
Nagekaji na omoeba hito ni tsurakarishi kono yo nagara no mukui narikeri
- English Translation
-
I will not lament;
for when I think, the coldness
I once showed to others
has come back to me as due
while I still live in this world
- Meaning
- I will not lament. When I think of it, this is my due in this very life for the coldness I once showed to others.
- Commentary
-
Book Fifteen Love Poems V 1401
Headnote: "Topic unknown."
This is the first poem of the sequence lamenting one's wretched lot. The present pain, she says, is her due in this very life for the coldness she once showed to others, and so she will not lament. The headnote gives no topic, and the circumstances of composition are not recorded.
The author, "Owari of Kōkamon'in," was a lady-in-waiting who served Seishi, empress of Emperor Sutoku, known as Kōkamon'in.
The first line, "nagekaji na," means "I will not lament," "ji" being a negative volition. The poem breaks after the first line.
The second line, "omoeba hito ni," means "when I think of it, to others."
The third line, "tsurakarishi," means "I was cold." It says that she was once the one who treated her admirers coldly.
The fourth line, "kono yo nagara no," means "while still in this world." Retribution was thought to come in the next life, but she says she receives it in this one.
The last line, "mukui narikeri," closes with "keri" of realization: "it was retribution." She accepts, through the Buddhist idea of cause and effect, the reversal in which the one who was cold becomes the one treated coldly. Where the preceding group lamented the end of the other's visits, from here come poems that look at one's own wretched lot.
- Author
- Owari of Kōkamon'in
- Source
- Shin Kokin Wakashu
- Prev Poem
-
Narawaneba hito no towanu mo tsurakarade kuyashiki ni koso sode wa nurekere
- Next Poem
-
Ikani shite ikani kono yo ni arifeba ka shibashi mo mono o omowazarubeki