Waga mi koso aranu ka to nomi tadorarure tou beki hito ni wasurareshi yori - Shin Kokin Wakashu(English Translation & Meaning)

わが身こそあらぬかとのみたどらるれ
問ふべき人に忘られしより

Roma-ji: Waga mi koso aranu ka to nomi tadorarure tou beki hito ni wasurareshi yori
English Translation: It is my own self
I can only wonder at—
is this still me?
ever since the one who should
come to call forgot me
Meaning: I can only wonder whether I am still myself, ever since the one who should have come to visit me forgot me.
Commentary: Book Fifteen Love Poems V 1405

Headnote continued from the preceding poem: "Topic unknown."
This is the fifth poem of the sequence lamenting one's wretched lot. Since being forgotten by the one who ought to visit, she feels as if she were no longer her former self. The headnote gives no topic, and the circumstances of composition are not recorded.
The author, "Ono no Komachi," was a woman poet of the early Heian period, one of the Six Poetic Immortals and the Thirty-Six Immortal Poets.

The first line, "waga mi koso," means "it is my own self," and the particle "koso" governs the third line.
The second line, "aranu ka to nomi," means "only whether I am not someone else, not my former self."
The third line, "tadorarure," closes the kakari-musubi of "koso" with the perfective form "rure": "I cannot help doubting." "Rure" is spontaneous. The poem breaks after the third line.
The fourth line, "tou beki hito ni," means "by the one who ought to visit."
The last line, "wasurareshi yori," means "since I was forgotten." Inverted from the third line, it sets afterward the reason for doubting herself. Where the preceding poem sought to cherish the beloved through a keepsake, this one has lost sight of the forgotten self.
Author: Ono no Komachi
Source: Shin Kokin Wakashu
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