数ならぬ身を何ゆゑに恨みけむ
とてもかくても過ごしける世を
とてもかくても過ごしける世を
- Roma-ji
-
Kazu naranu mi o nani yue ni uramikemu totemo kakutemo sugoshikeru yo o
- English Translation
-
My worthless self—
why was it, I wonder, that
I felt such resentment,
when one way or another
I have passed my life in this world?
- Meaning
- Why did I ever resent this worthless self of mine, when one way or another I have lived my way through the world?
- Commentary
-
Book Eighteen Miscellaneous Poems III 1834
Headnote: "Topic unknown."
This is the second of the poems on living apart from the world and the second of two by Gyōson. Why did he resent his worthless self, when one way or another he has managed to live through the world? Looking back now on his former resentment of his lot, he tells of a heart that accepts itself as it is. The headnote gives no topic, and the circumstances of composition are not recorded.
The author, "Archbishop Gyōson," is Gyōson. A son of Minamoto no Motohira, he became a monk of Onjōji and underwent severe austerities at Ōmine, Kumano, and elsewhere. He rose to Archbishop and also served as Tendai abbot. No author is named in the original; the attribution continues from the preceding poem.
The first line, "kazu naranu," means "of no account." Poem 1838 of this book begins with the same line.
The second line, "mi o nani yue ni," means "this self, for what reason."
The third line, "uramikemu," means "did I resent?" "Kemu" is an auxiliary of past conjecture closing in the attributive in answer to "nani yue ni," and the poem pauses here.
The fourth line, "totemo kakutemo," means "one way or another, somehow."
The last line, "sugoshikeru yo o," means "though it is a world I have lived through." "O" is a concessive particle with a sigh, showing his realization that there was no need for resentment.
- Author
- Gyōson
- Source
- Shin Kokin Wakashu
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Omoiidete moshimo tazunuru hito mo araba ari to na ii so sadame naki yo ni
- Next Poem
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Itsuka ware miyama no sato no sabishiki ni aruji to narite hito ni towaremu