Kamusabu to ina ni wa arazu hata ya hata kaku shite nochi ni sabushikemu kamo

神さぶといなにはあらずはたやはた
かくして後に寂しけむかも

Roma-ji: Kamusabu to ina ni wa arazu hata ya hata kaku shite nochi ni sabushikemu kamo
English Translation: Grown old, I may be,
yet it's not that I say no;
still, and still again,
having done so, afterward
might I not be lonelier still
Meaning: It is not that I refuse you because I have grown old; yet I wonder, if I yield, whether I will not be lonelier afterward.
Commentary: Book Four Love Poems 762

Headnote: "Two poems sent by Ki no Iratsume to Ōtomo no Sukune Yakamochi; her name was Oshika"
This is the first of two poems Ki no Iratsume sent to Yakamochi. It is not that she refuses because she has grown old, she says, but she fears she may be lonelier afterward, voicing the hesitation of an older woman.
The author, Ki no Iratsume, was a daughter of Ki no Kanohito, named Oshika, and was the wife of Prince Aki.

First line, "Grown old, I may be," means that I have grown old.
Second line, "yet it's not that I say no," means it is not refusal; the poem breaks after this line.
Third line, "still, and still again," doubles hata, "yet again, perhaps," showing hesitation.
Fourth line, "having done so, afterward," means after doing so.
Fifth line, "might I not be lonelier still," uses the conjectural kemu with kamo: might I feel lonely?
Author: Ki no Iratsume
Source: Manyoshu
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