Tokikinu no koi midaretsutsu uki manago ikite mo ware wa ari wataru kamo

解き衣の恋ひ乱れつつ浮き真砂
生きても我れはありわたるかも

Roma-ji: Tokikinu no koi midaretsutsu uki manago ikite mo ware wa ari wataru kamo
English Translation: Like a loosened robe
I am in disarray with love;
like the drifting sand,
still alive, will I go on
living on as I am now?
Meaning: Torn and tangled with love like a loosened robe, like sand drifting in the water, will I still go on living like this?
Commentary: Book Eleven Love Poems Ancient and Modern I 2504

Headnote continued from the preceding poem: "Expressing Feelings through Things"
Still in turmoil with love like a loosened robe, the speaker wonders whether life will simply go on like this, lamenting a life caught in love's pain. It conveys the helplessness of piling up the days with a disordered heart, unable even to die.
It speaks through two things, a loosened robe and drifting sand. Where poem 2498 in this book declares a readiness to die for love, this poem sings of living on in love's disorder, the two sharing a concern with life and death.
The author is unknown; according to the left note, the poem comes from the Kakinomoto no Hitomaro Collection. That collection is thought to contain both Hitomaro's own poems and poems by others that he recorded. Kakinomoto no Hitomaro was a court poet active in the reigns of Empress Jito and Emperor Monmu, and is counted among the Thirty-Six Immortal Poets.

First line, "tokikinu no": a pillow word attached to "midare" (disorder) in the second line, from the way a robe with its seams unpicked falls apart in disarray.
Second line, "koi midaretsutsu": "while in disarray with love." "Tsutsu" is a particle of continuation, describing a disordered heart that goes on and on.
Third line, "uki manago": fine sand floating and drifting in the water. It leads into "ikite" (living) in the fourth line, thought to work through the likeness of the sounds "uki" and "iki."
Fourth line, "ikite mo ware wa": "even alive, I." "Mo" adds the sense of "even while suffering so in love."
Fifth line, "ari wataru kamo": "will I go on living thus?" "Ari wataru" means to pass time on and on in the same state, and "kamo" is a questioning particle tinged with exclamation.
Author: Kakinomoto no Hitomaro Collection
Source: Manyoshu
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