Urameshi to omou sanawa ni arishikaba yoso nomi zo mishi kokoro wa omoedo

恨めしと思ふさなはにありしかば
外のみぞ見し心は思へど

Roma-ji: Urameshi to omou sanawa ni arishikaba yoso nomi zo mishi kokoro wa omoedo
English Translation: It was at the time
when I thought you were unkind,
and so it was that
only from afar I watched,
though my heart was full of love
Meaning: It was just when I resented you, so I only watched you from a distance, though in my heart I loved you.
Commentary: Book Eleven Love Poems Ancient and Modern I 2522

Headnote continued from the preceding poem: "Expressing One's Feelings Directly"
Because it was just when the speaker resented the beloved, the speaker only watched from afar, though loving in the heart. Looking back on being unable to approach honestly out of resentment, the speaker confesses that love went on within.
This is a poem expressing feelings directly, and its theme is the gap between the attitude shown outwardly and the feeling held within. The next poem also says that love does not show in the face yet runs deep in the heart, so two poems on the distance between outside and inside stand side by side.
The author is unknown. The anonymous poems of Book Eleven gather love poems by people whose names have not come down to us.

First line, "urameshi to": "that it was hateful," quoting with "to" the speaker's pain at the other's behavior.
Second line, "omou sanawa ni": "in the midst of thinking so." The meaning of "sanawa" is uncertain, but it is understood as "just at that time, in the very midst."
Third line, "arishikaba": "since it was so." The realis "shika" of the past auxiliary "ki" with "ba" marks a settled condition.
Fourth line, "yoso nomi zo mishi": "I only watched from afar." The particle "zo" is answered by "shi," the attributive of the past auxiliary "ki," in a kakari-musubi construction. The poem breaks after the fourth line, inverted with the last line.
Fifth line, "kokoro wa omoedo": "though in my heart I loved." The particle "do" marks contrast, and through inversion the inner feeling is confessed last.
Source: Manyoshu
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