Iki no o ni omoeba kurushi tama no o no taete midare na shiraba shiru tomo

息の緒に思へば苦し玉の緒の
絶えて乱れな知らば知るとも

Roma-ji: Iki no o ni omoeba kurushi tama no o no taete midare na shiraba shiru tomo
English Translation: With my very life
I long for you, and it hurts;
like a cord of jewels
let me snap and scatter wide:
if they know it, let them know
Meaning: I love with all my life, and it is painful. Like a cord of jewels that snaps and scatters, let me fall apart in turmoil; if others come to know, then let them know.
Commentary: Book Eleven Love Poems Ancient and Modern I 2788

Headnote continued from the preceding poem: "Expressing Feelings through Things"
Loving with all one's life is painful, so let me fall into disorder like jewels scattered when their cord snaps, and let others know if they will: such is this poem. It reveals a fierce heart that, unable to bear a love hidden from others' eyes, is ready to abandon all caution.
In the sequence on the cord of jewels, the preceding poem hoped that the bond would never break, "tama no o no taeji to omou," whereas this poem, beginning with the same "tama no o no," wishes instead to "taete midare na," to snap and scatter, turning the same pillow word to the opposite end. The next poem continues the theme with a love that has broken and fallen into disorder, "tama no o no taetaru koi no midarenaba."
The author is unknown. The anonymous poems of Book Eleven gather the love poems of people whose names have not come down to us.

First line, "iki no o ni": "with my very life." "Iki no o," the breath likened to a long cord, means life itself.
Second line, "omoeba kurushi": "since I love, it is painful." "Ba" after the conditional form expresses cause, and a pause falls here.
Third line, "tama no o no": a pillow word attached to "tae" and "midare." As in the preceding poem, it brings in the cord threading jewels and evokes jewels scattering when it breaks.
Fourth line, "taete midare na": "let me snap and be scattered." "Na" is a final particle of one's own will or wish, and a second pause falls here. It uses the same word "tae" as "taeji to omou" in the preceding poem to express the opposite feeling.
Fifth line, "shiraba shiru tomo": "if they know, let them know." "Ba" marks a supposition and "tomo" a concession, showing a defiant heart that no longer fears others' eyes.
Source: Manyoshu
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