Kaku bakari ushi to omou ni koishiki wa ware sae kokoro futatsu arikeri - Shui Wakashu(English Translation & Meaning)

かくばかり憂しと思ふに恋しきは
我さへ心ふたつありけり

Roma-ji: Kaku bakari ushi to omou ni koishiki wa ware sae kokoro futatsu arikeri
English Translation: That I long for you
though I think you cause me pain
so very deeply,
means that I as well have
a heart that is split in two.
Meaning: That I still long for you, though I find you so painful, means that I, too, turn out to have a heart split in two.
Commentary: Book Fifteen Love Poems V 989

Headnote continued from the preceding poem: "Topic unknown"
The poem says: that I long for the other even while finding them so painful means that I too have two hearts. Calling it "ware sae," even I, as if comparing it to the other's double heart, it gazes at the contradiction of one's own heart, in which the heart that finds the other painful and the heart that longs for them exist at once.
Where the next poem, 990, sings of a single-minded heart, "tada hitosuji ni," this poem sings of a divided heart, "kokoro futatsu," the two forming a contrast.

First line, "kaku bakari," means "this much."
Second line, "ushi to omou ni," means "though I think it painful." It shares the words with the first line of 944 in this book, "ushi to omou."
Third line, "koishiki wa," means "that I long." It is the same as the third lines of 944 and 946 in this book, "koishiki wa."
Fourth line, "ware sae kokoro," means "even I, a heart," with "sae" expressing addition, implying "not only the other but I too."
Final line, "futatsu arikeri," means "turns out to be two," with "keri" expressing the exclamation of discovery. It shares with the final line of 946 in this book, "kokoro narikeri," the sense of one's own heart as unruly.
Author: Unknown Poet
Source: Shui Wakashu
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