Hitori nomi toshi hekeru ni mo otoraji o kazu naranu mi no aru wa aru ka wa - Shui Wakashu(English Translation & Meaning)

独りのみ年経けるにも劣らじを
数ならぬ身のあるはあるかは

Roma-ji: Hitori nomi toshi hekeru ni mo otoraji o kazu naranu mi no aru wa aru ka wa
English Translation: It can be no worse
than passing all your years alone;
this worthless self of mine,
being here, can that be called
being here at all, I wonder?
Meaning: It is surely no better than living through the years alone, for can a worthless one like me be said to be here at all?
Commentary: Book Nineteen Miscellaneous Love Poems 1250

Headnote: "When a woman said she would rather be alone"
The poet says it can be no better than passing the years alone, for can a worthless one like him be said to be here at all? The headnote shows he composed it when a woman said she would rather be alone than have him. To her complaint he humbles himself, saying he is as good as absent, while quietly returning her words with reproach.
The author, written as "Motosuke," is Kiyohara no Motosuke. The father of Sei Shōnagon, he took part in compiling the Gosenshū as one of the Five Men of the Pear Chamber. He is counted among the Thirty-Six Immortal Poets.

First line, "hitori nomi," means "all alone," taking up the woman's words in the headnote, "if I were alone."
Second line, "toshi hekeru ni mo," means "than passing the years."
Third line, "otoraji o," means "it would be no worse," with "ji" negative conjecture and "o" a concessive particle.
Fourth line, "kazu naranu mi no," means "this worthless self," running himself down.
Final line, "aru wa aru ka wa," means "does my being here count as being here," with "ka wa" a rhetorical question. Repeating "aru," he says he is as good as absent.
Author: Kiyohara no Motosuke
Source: Shui Wakashu
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