Koishi tomo mata tsurashi tomo omoiyaru kokoro izure ka saki ni tatsuran - Senzai Wakashu(English Translation & Meaning)

恋しともまたつらしとも思ひやる
心いづれか先に立つらん

Roma-ji: Koishi tomo mata tsurashi tomo omoiyaru kokoro izure ka saki ni tatsuran
English Translation: Is it longing, or
is it bitterness instead
that I feel for her:
of these two within my heart,
which, I wonder, comes the first?
Meaning: Longing, or bitterness again, in the heart I send out toward her, which of the two, I wonder, rises first?
Commentary: Book Twelve Love Poems II 735

Headnote continued from the preceding poem: "Topic unknown"
Longing, and bitterness too, he says, which of them goes first in the heart that reaches out to her? The wish for her and the resentment at her coldness mingle in his breast, and he cannot tell which is stronger, a poem that gazes at the wavering of a heart in love.
The author, "Minamoto no Moromitsu," was the son of Major Counselor Minamoto no Moroyori. A poet of the Murakami Genji, he later took the tonsure under the name Shōren. He was the father of Kunaikyō, a lady-in-waiting poet of Retired Emperor Go-Toba.

First line, "koishi tomo": "as longing."
Second line, "mata tsurashi tomo": "and also as bitterness," set beside the first line to show two opposing feelings.
Third line, "omoiyaru": "to send one's thoughts to someone far away," modifying "kokoro," "heart," in the fourth line.
Fourth line, "kokoro izure ka": "ka" is an interrogative particle binding with "ran" in the last line, "which of my heart's feelings."
Fifth line, "saki ni tatsuran": "ran" is the attributive of the conjectural "ramu," concluding the "ka" of the fourth line, "which, I wonder, comes first?"
Author: Minamoto no Moromitsu
Source: Senzai Wakashu
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