かくばかり憂き身なれども捨て果てむと
思ふになれば悲しかりけり
思ふになれば悲しかりけり
- Roma-ji
-
Kakubakari uki mi naredomo sutehatemu to omou ni nareba kanashikarikeri
- English Translation
-
Though I am a self
so full of sorrow as this,
when it comes to thinking
"I will cast it all away,"
how sad it is to me
- Meaning
- Wretched as I am, when it comes to thinking that I will cast this self away for good, how sad it is.
- Commentary
-
Book Seventeen Miscellaneous Poems II 1119
Headnote: "Composed at a time when I had resolved to turn my back on the world"
This poem was composed when he had resolved to leave the world. Wretched as I am, when I come to think of casting myself away for good, how sad it is, he says. His life was full of sorrow, and he should have had no regret in casting it off. Yet once he resolves to leave the world, sadness wells up after all, and he frankly sings of a heart wavering on the verge of taking the tonsure.
The author, "the monk Kūnin," was a monk of the late Heian period whose biography is not known in detail.
It shares the first line "kakubakari" with 1070 and 1121 of this book.
First line, "kakubakari": "to such a degree." It is the same first line as 1070 and 1121 of this book.
Second line, "uki mi naredomo": "though I am a sorrowful self," a concessive leading on.
Third line, "sutehatemu to": "that I will cast it all away," with "mu" the auxiliary of intention. It has six syllables, one too many.
Fourth line, "omou ni nareba": "when it comes to thinking so."
Fifth line, "kanashikarikeri": "keri" is exclamatory, expressing the realization of sadness.
- Author
- Kūnin
- Source
- Senzai Wakashu
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Omoiki ya Shiga no uranami tachikaeri mata Ōmi to mo naramu mono to wa