Wasuregai hiroishi mo seji shiratama o kouru o dani mo katami to omowamu - Tosa Nikki(English Translation & Meaning)

わすれ貝ひろひしもせじ白玉を
戀ふるをだにもかたみと思はむ

Roma-ji: Wasuregai hiroishi mo seji shiratama o kouru o dani mo katami to omowamu
English Translation: Forgetting-shells, no,
I will never gather them;
my white jewel lost,
this very longing for her
I will keep as her keepsake
Meaning: I will never gather the shells of forgetting. Instead I will keep my longing for my lost white jewel as her keepsake.
Commentary: 43 The Fourth Day of the Second Month: The Shells of Forgetting

On the fourth day of the second month, the steersman declared that the look of the wind and clouds was very bad that day, so the boat did not sail. Yet all day long neither waves nor wind arose. The diarist writes that this steersman was a fool who could not even read the weather. On the beach of this anchorage there were many lovely shells and stones of every kind. And so the people on the boat could think of nothing but longing for the one who was gone.
The one who was gone was the former governor's daughter, who had died in Tosa. "Wasuregai," the shell of forgetting, was a shell said to make one forget one's longing if one picked it up.
Hearing the boat passenger's "Yosuru nami uchi mo yosenamu waga kouru hito wasuregai orite hirowamu," a certain person, unable to bear it, composed this poem to ease the weariness of the voyage.
The diarist writes that where a daughter is concerned, parents grow childish. People may say she was hardly a jewel, but it is common to say that a child who died was beautiful. Afterward, lamenting the days spent in the same place, a certain woman composed "Te o hidete samusa mo shiranu izumi ni zo kumu to wa nashi ni higoro henikeru."

The first line, "Wasuregai," takes up the previous poem: the shell said to make one forget longing. In the second line, "hiroishi mo seji," "shi" and "mo" are emphatic and "ji" is an auxiliary of negative intention: I will never pick it up. "Shiratama" in the third line is a pearl, a figure for the lost child.
The fourth line, "kouru o dani mo," means "at least my longing," with "dani" expressing "at least." In the final line, "katami to omowamu," "mu" is an auxiliary of intention: I will think of it as her keepsake.
Where the previous poem wished to pick up the shell of forgetting and be free of grief, this one answers from the opposite stance: I will never pick up such a shell; my longing itself shall be the keepsake of my child. It is a reply that reveals a parent's deep love, choosing not to forget grief but to hold it close.
Author: Ki no Tsurayuki
Source: Tosa Nikki
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