かゝれとも覺束なくも思ほへて
是も昔のえにこそあるらめ
是も昔のえにこそあるらめ
- Roma-ji
-
Kakaredomo obotsukanaku mo omōete kore mo mukashi no e ni koso arurame
- English Translation
-
Even as things are,
I find my heart is restless,
waiting, unsure;
this too must surely be a bond
come down from lives long past
- Meaning
- Even though you do not come, I find myself restless and uneasy; this too must be a bond from a former life.
- Commentary
-
4 Waiting at Dusk
The morning after their first night, having exchanged morning-after poems with the prince, Izumi Shikibu wondered at her own strange fate and grieved, remembering how much the late prince had once said to her. When the familiar page boy arrived, she thought he brought a letter from the prince, but he did not. Though she chided herself for feeling hurt like some woman given to love, she entrusted a poem to the boy as he went back.
The woman is Izumi Shikibu, daughter of Ōe no Masamune and, as the wife of Tachibana no Michisada, Governor of Izumi, mother of Koshikibu no Naishi. The prince is Prince Atsumichi, fourth son of Emperor Reizei. His principal wife was a daughter of Fujiwara no Naritoki, whose elder sister Seishi was a consort of the Crown Prince Okisada. The late prince was Atsumichi's elder brother by the same mother, Prince Tametaka, who had died in the sixth month of Chōhō 4 (1002).
When the prince's "Hitasura ni matsu to mo iwaba yasurawade yukubeki mono o imo ga ieji ni" arrived, along with his words that it pained him to think she believed his feelings shallow, Izumi Shikibu said she thought nothing of the kind and returned this poem.
After the poem she added that without his comfort she might simply fade away, if only a little. The prince meant to visit, but the days slipped by until the last day of the fourth month.
The first three lines mean "even so, I find myself uneasy," the uneasiness being a restless anxiety.
The lower verses mean "this too must be a bond from long ago," sealed by an emphatic construction ending in an auxiliary of present conjecture. The word "e," meaning a karmic bond, also echoes the "branch" of the prince's first reply, "Onaji e ni nakitsutsu orishi hototogisu koe wa kawaranu mono to shiranan," where he likened the two brothers to birds on a single bough. Rather than reproach him for not coming, she accepts her longing as a destiny from a former life, in a gentle and tender reply.
- Author
- Izumi Shikibu
- Source
- Izumi Shikibu Nikki
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