Fukenuran to omou mono kara nerarenedo nakanaka nareba tsuki wa shi mo mizu - Izumi Shikibu Nikki(English Translation & Meaning)

更ぬらんと思ふ物からねられねと
中々なれは月はしも見す

Roma-ji: Fukenuran to omou mono kara nerarenedo nakanaka nareba tsuki wa shi mo mizu
English Translation: Knowing that the night
had grown late, still I could not sleep;
yet to look would be
only half a joy, and so
the moon I did not see
Meaning: I knew the night had grown late and still I could not sleep; yet since looking would only make it harder, I did not look at the moon.
Commentary: 28 The Moon in the Late Night

After their playful exchange on the frosty morning, no word came from the prince for two or three days. Wondering what had become of his reassuring talk of bringing her to his residence, Izumi Shikibu could not sleep and lay awake. Just as she thought dawn must be near, there was a knock at the gate. It was such an unexpected hour that she had someone ask who it was, and it was a letter from the prince. Because the hour was so unexpected, she wondered with deep feeling whether he too had been moved to write, and she pushed open the double door to read it.
The woman is Izumi Shikibu, daughter of Ōe no Masamune and, as the wife of Tachibana no Michisada, Governor of Izumi, mother of Koshikibu no Naishi. The Prince of the Dazaifu is Prince Atsumichi, fourth son of Emperor Reizei, so called because he served as Governor-General of the Dazaifu.
The prince's letter, arriving before dawn, read "Miru ya kimi sayo uchifukete yama no ha ni kuma naku sumeru aki no yo no tsuki." Gazing up at the moon, Izumi Shikibu felt it more deeply than usual, and thinking the messenger must be tired of waiting since the gate had not been opened, she quickly sent back this poem.
The prince found her reply, so different in tone from what he had expected, better than he had imagined, and resolved that somehow he would keep her close and hear her compose such trifles. Two days later he would come to her quietly, disguised in a woman's carriage.

The opening lines mean "though I thought the night must have grown late," answering his "late in the night," with an adversative connective. The third line means "though I could not sleep," with an auxiliary of possibility and a negative.
The lower verses mean "since it would only be worse, I did not look at the moon," where "nakanaka" means that something half-done is worse than nothing, with an intensifying particle. To his "are you watching?" she deliberately answers against his expectation: she lay awake but did not look at the moon, implying that a moon watched alone only brings more pain, and so she sidesteps his question.
Author: Izumi Shikibu
Source: Izumi Shikibu Nikki
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