Ima no ma ni kimi kimasanan koishi tote na mo aru mono o ware yukan ya wa - Izumi Shikibu Nikki(English Translation & Meaning)

今の間に君きまさなん戀し迚
なもあるものを我ゆかんやは

Roma-ji: Ima no ma ni kimi kimasanan koishi tote na mo aru mono o ware yukan ya wa
English Translation: Even now, this moment,
I would have you come to me;
though I long for you,
with my good name to consider,
how could I be the one to go?
Meaning: I wish you would come to me this very moment; however much I long for you, how could I go to you myself, with my name to think of?
Commentary: 34 Rumor and Suspicion

Having resolved to go to the prince's residence, Izumi Shikibu thought that court service was not what she truly wanted at this stage, and that she would rather live in a cave; and yet if more sorrows came, what then? Still, if she were near, she could see how her parents and siblings fared and settle the future of those who were her ties to the world, and so she made up her mind. Until she went, so that no idle rumors might reach his ears, she had her people tell the men who wrote to her that she was away, and sent them no replies. Then a letter came from the prince. It said many things, such as "What a fool I was to rely on you," and ended only with "Very well, then." Her heart sank. There had been many groundless rumors before, but she had let them pass, thinking that what was untrue could not be helped. This time, however, he spoke in earnest, and since some seemed to have caught wind of her resolve, she feared she would become a laughingstock; she was so grieved she could not answer. When the prince wrote again, "Why do you not reply? It makes me think it was true after all. How quickly your heart changes. People told me things; I did not believe them, and only said, if that is how you feel," her heart eased a little, and wanting to know his true feelings, she thought, "If you truly think so."
The woman is Izumi Shikibu, daughter of Ōe no Masamune and, as the wife of Tachibana no Michisada, Governor of Izumi, mother of Koshikibu no Naishi. The Prince of the Dazaifu is Prince Atsumichi, fourth son of Emperor Reizei, so called because he served as Governor-General of the Dazaifu.
Bewildered by the prince's letter, which seemed to take the rumors at face value, and wishing to test his feelings, Izumi Shikibu sent this poem.
The prince replied with "Kimi ima wa na no tatsu koto o omoikeru hito kara kakaru kokoro to zo miru," adding, "Now even this has made me angry."

The opening lines mean "I wish you would come this very moment," with an honorific verb for coming and a particle of wish directed at another. The third line means "just because I long for you."
The lower verses mean "with my name to think of, could I go myself?" the name being one's reputation, with a rhetorical particle. To a prince who spoke as though rumor had driven his heart away, she answers that much as she longs for him, a woman cannot go uninvited, frankly asking him to come and probing his true intent.
Author: Izumi Shikibu
Source: Izumi Shikibu Nikki
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