Taeshi koro taene to omoishi tama no o o kimi ni yori mata oshimaruru kana - Izumi Shikibu Nikki(English Translation & Meaning)

たえし比たえねと思ひし玉の緖を
君により又おしまるゝ哉

Roma-ji: Taeshi koro taene to omoishi tama no o o kimi ni yori mata oshimaruru kana
English Translation: In the days we parted,
I wished this jeweled thread of life
would break and be done;
now because of you, once more,
how dear it has become
Meaning: When we were apart, I wished my thread of life would simply snap; now, because of you, I find myself holding it dear once more.
Commentary: 39 The Thread of Life

After their exchange on the frosty morning, Izumi Shikibu fell ill, perhaps from a cold, though not seriously. The prince wrote again and again, "How are you? How are you?"
The woman is Izumi Shikibu, daughter of Ōe no Masamune and, as the wife of Tachibana no Michisada, Governor of Izumi, mother of Koshikibu no Naishi. The Prince of the Dazaifu is Prince Atsumichi, fourth son of Emperor Reizei, so called because he served as Governor-General of the Dazaifu.
When she was a little better, a letter came from the prince asking how she was. Izumi Shikibu wrote, "I am somewhat better, and I have come to wish to live a little longer. It is sinful, but in truth," and sent this poem.
The prince wrote, "How very glad I am," and replied with "Tama no o wa taen mono ka wa chigiriteshi nagaki kokoro ni musubikometeki."

The opening lines mean "the life I wished would end when we were apart," repeating "tae," ending, to match the break in their love with the ending of life, with the imperative of a perfective auxiliary. The third line means "my thread of life," the thread that strings jewels, and so life itself.
The lower verses mean "because of you I find it precious again," with a spontaneous auxiliary and an exclamatory particle. Just as she is recovering, she confides that the life she had been willing to lose has become dear again because of the prince, telling him that he is what sustains her.
Author: Izumi Shikibu
Source: Izumi Shikibu Nikki
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