思はじと思へばいとど恋しきは
いづちか我が心なるらむ
いづちか我が心なるらむ
- Roma-ji
-
Omowaji to omoeba itodo koishiki wa izuchi ka waga kokoro naruramu
- English Translation
-
"I will think no more,"
I tell myself, yet I yearn
only all the more —
which of these, then, can it be
that is truly my own heart
- Meaning
- When I resolve to think of you no more, I only long for you all the more; which of these, then, is truly my own heart?
- Commentary
-
Book Seven Love Poems I 204
Bewildered that his longing grows stronger the more he resolves not to think of the beloved, the poet asks which is his true heart, the one that refuses or the one that yearns. The poem captures the strangeness of a loving heart that is one's own yet will not obey.
The first line, "omowaji to" (I will not think), uses the negative volitional "ji" to state a resolve.
The second line, "omoeba itodo," repeats "omou" to express the paradox that resolving not to think makes it worse. Following "shiite wasuremu to omoedomo" in the preceding poem, 203, it continues a pair of poems in which the will to forget backfires.
The third line, "koishiki wa" (the longing), sets the growing longing as the topic with "wa."
The fourth line, "izuchi ka waga" (which, then, my), poses a question with "ka."
The final line, "kokoro naruramu," closes "ka" with the attributive "ramu," asking which could be his true heart.
- Author
- Unknown Poet
- Source
- Shika Wakashu
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