Tsurakarishi kokoro narai ni aimite mo nao yume ka to zo utagawarekeru - Kinyo Wakashu(English Translation & Meaning)

つらかりし心ならひに逢ひ見ても
なほ夢かとぞ疑はれける

Roma-ji: Tsurakarishi kokoro narai ni aimite mo nao yume ka to zo utagawarekeru
English Translation: So used has my heart
grown to your cruelty that
even when we meet,
still I find myself in doubt,
wondering if it's a dream
Meaning: So used has my heart grown to your coldness that even now that we have met, I cannot help doubting whether it is only a dream.
Commentary: Book Seven Love Poems I 381

Because the poet's heart grew used to long coldness, even now that they have met at last he cannot help doubting that it is real. The poem shows how deep the earlier suffering was, so deep that the joy of meeting cannot simply be believed.
Some manuscripts name Minamoto no Yukimune as the author and give the headnote 'Composed on the feeling of the morning after.' It would then be a poem on that topic.
Poems 354, 365 and 415 in this book also sing of dream and waking.

First line, 'tsurakarishi', means that was cruel, using the attributive of the past ki to look back on the beloved's coldness.
Second line, 'kokoro narai ni', means from the habit of the heart, a heart grown used to pain.
Third line, 'aimite mo', means even when we meet, using the concessive te mo.
Fourth line, 'nao yume ka to zo', means still whether it is a dream, the particle zo binding with the attributive keru in the final line. Like poems 354 and 415 in this book, it sings of a dream.
Final line, 'utagawarekeru', means I find myself doubting, the spontaneous ru joined to the exclamatory keri.
Source: Kinyo Wakashu
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