In the darkened heart,
Clouded deep in gloom and doubt,
I have lost my way—
Whether dream or waking life,
Tonight let it be decided.
- Meaning
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My heart has grown dark and confused, and I have lost all sense of judgment. Please let it be decided tonight whether it was a dream or waking reality.
- Commentary
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69. Did You Come?
A certain man was sent to Ise as an official for the hunt, a post responsible for capturing birds and animals for court banquets and also for inspecting the administration of the provinces. The parent of the Saigū of the Ise Shrine—a princess who served the shrine and remained unmarried—said to her, "Attend to him with greater care than the usual officials." Following this instruction, the Saigū treated him with great courtesy.
On the second night after the man arrived, he insisted that he wished to meet the Saigū. Yet because of their respective positions—an imperial princess and a court official—and because there were many eyes about, they could not easily meet. Their sleeping quarters, however, were not far apart. Around midnight, when the attendants had fallen asleep, she went to the place where the man was staying. Overjoyed, he led her to his own chamber, and they remained together until about three in the morning. Before they could exchange words of intimacy, however, the woman departed.
In the morning she sent a letter containing the poem: "Did you come to me, or was it that I went to you? I cannot recall—was it dream or waking life, or something between?" The man composed this poem in reply and sent it back to her.
The poem expresses the man’s bewilderment and confusion at being told by the woman, after they had spent the night together, that she could hardly believe such a thing had happened. The closing line, "Tonight let it be decided," can be taken as an invitation asking her to spend the night together again so that they may determine whether it was dream or reality.
It may be reading too much into it, yet the woman’s earlier poem could also be understood as a subtle approach anticipating the man’s reply.
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- Source
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Ise Monogatari
- Other
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