Even having met,
nights of meeting come so rare—
here inside this dream
I would that this body here
might lose itself once for all

Meaning

Even now that we have met, such nights come so rarely—let this body of mine simply lose itself here inside the dream.

Commentary

Part One: Wakamurasaki

　Fujitsubo had withdrawn from the palace because of illness, and with the help of Omyobu, Genji at last acted on a longing he had carried for years. She was his father's consort and his own stepmother; the meeting could never be permitted. As the short night was ending, he spoke this poem. She answered with one of her own; afterward she conceived from that night, and the heavy secret that runs through the whole tale came into being.

　The dream stands for a meeting that cannot be believed real, and it is the word that binds the two poems of this exchange. "Lose itself once for all" is a wish simply to vanish, holding both guilt and the despair of never meeting again. That he says nothing of joy and turns straight to grief at not meeting again shows exactly how disordered this bond is.

Author

Murasaki Shikibu

Source

Genji Monogatari

Other

Even having met, nights of meeting come so rare— here inside this dream I would that this body here might lose itself once for all

Even having met,
nights of meeting come so rare—
here inside this dream
I would that this body here
might lose itself once for all