While in secret I
waited for the god's release,
here I have passed by
year on heartless year of a
world that would not soften to me
- Meaning
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While in secret I waited for the god to release you, how many heartless years I have let slip past, in a world that never softened toward me.
- Commentary
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Part One: Asagao
Around the time Fujitsubo died, Genji's uncle, Prince Shikibu of Momozono, died as well, and his daughter, the lady Asagao, withdrew from her post as High Priestess of Kamo and shut herself away at home. Genji had loved Asagao since his youth, and now his feeling flared up again. On the pretext of calling on his aunt, the Fifth Princess, he began visiting the Momozono residence, and there, through the intermediary Senji, he pressed his suit on the mourning lady from beyond her blinds. This poem carries his wish that, now that she has left the priestess's office, she might receive him. But the lady, who had watched Genji's long history in love, would not open her heart.
"In secret" means hidden from others, quietly. "The god's release" recalls that while Asagao served as priestess, bound to the god, the way between man and woman was forbidden her; it speaks of that duty being lifted and the god's leave coming. "While I waited" is: all the while I awaited that release. "So many" is these many, long; and "the heartless world" is their still-cold relation. It is Genji's plea of love: that through the long years he could not meet her, kept apart by her office, he endured and waited. The poem weaves the priestess's charge into "the god's release" as its conceit.
- Author
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Murasaki Shikibu
- Source
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Genji Monogatari
- Other
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