My heart, which knows how
to feel, falls behind no one's,
and yet, being of
no account at all, I pass
my days as one going out

Meaning

My heart, which knows how to feel, falls behind no one's; and yet, being of no account, I pass my days like something going out.

Commentary

Part Three: Kagero

　Having lost Ukifune, Kaoru went about the bright life of the capital with no ease in his mind. Kozaisho no Kimi, a gentlewoman in the Akashi Empress's service whom he liked for her quickness and her feeling, guessed at his grief and sent him this. He answered without letting anything of himself out, and went on afterwards keeping her neither close nor distant.

　"A heart that knows how to feel" is one open to the quality of things and to another's grief. Hito ni okurenedo is that it falls behind nobody's. Kazu naranu mi, a self of no account, is the set phrase by which a gentlewoman lowers her own standing. Kie tsutsu zo furu is to pass one's days as though going out like a flame, an expression that belongs with dew and smoke. The form of a gentlewoman's poem—offering feeling while keeping to her place—is well observed.

Author

Murasaki Shikibu

Source

Genji Monogatari

Other

My heart, which knows how to feel, falls behind no one's, and yet, being of no account at all, I pass my days as one going out

My heart, which knows how
to feel, falls behind no one's,
and yet, being of
no account at all, I pass
my days as one going out