Tanometsutsu konu yo amata ni narinureba mataji to omou zo matsu ni masareru - Shui Wakashu(English Translation & Meaning)

頼めつつ来ぬ夜あまたになりぬれば
待たじと思ふぞ待つにまされる

Roma-ji: Tanometsutsu konu yo amata ni narinureba mataji to omou zo matsu ni masareru
English Translation: Raising hopes, you made
the nights you did not come grow
so many, that now
thinking I will wait no more
is worse to bear than waiting.
Meaning: Since the nights you raised my hopes and did not come have grown so many, deciding to wait no more has become harder to bear than the waiting itself.
Commentary: Book Thirteen Love Poems III 848

Headnote: "Topic unknown"
The poem says that since nights on which the beloved raised hopes yet did not come have piled up, resolving not to wait is more painful than waiting. Even when one resolves, unable to bear the pain of waiting, to wait no more, that resolve proves more painful than waiting, and the poem sings of the contradiction of a heart in love.
The author, "Hitomaro," is Kakinomoto no Hitomaro, a court poet of the Asuka period revered as the sage of poetry and the foremost poet of the Man'yōshū, and one of the Thirty-Six Immortal Poets. Many Man'yōshū poems are included in the Shūishū under Hitomaro's name.
This is the closing poem of the book. Where the opening poem, 777, laments waiting through the night, asking whether one must sleep alone again tonight, the close ends with the pain of resolving not to wait after many nights without a visit, so that the book's beginning and end answer each other in the grief of nights spent waiting.

First line, "tanometsutsu," means "while raising my hopes," with "tanomu" in its lower bigrade form meaning to make someone hope. It shares the sense of raising hopes with the final line of 796, "hitodanome naru."
Second line, "konu yo amata ni," means "the nights you did not come, so many." As if taking up "koyoi mo mata ya" of the opening poem, 777, it sings of the number of nights without a visit.
Third line, "narinureba," means "since they have become so," with "ba" a fixed condition.
Fourth line, "mataji to omou zo," means "thinking I will not wait," with "ji" a negative intention.
Final line, "matsu ni masareru," means "is worse than waiting," concluding in the attributive form "masareru" in answer to "zo." Repeating the same word as "mataji" in the fourth line and "matsu" in the final line in negative and affirmative form, against the lament of waiting in the opening poem, 777, it closes the book with a heart that cannot stop waiting even as it tries to.
Author: Kakinomoto no Hitomaro
Source: Shui Wakashu
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