Matsu tote mo kabakari koso wa aramashika omoi mo kakenu aki no yūgure - Senzai Wakashu(English Translation & Meaning)

待つとてもかばかりこそはあらましか
思ひもかけぬ秋の夕暮

Roma-ji: Matsu tote mo kabakari koso wa aramashika omoi mo kakenu aki no yūgure
English Translation: Even had I been
waiting for you, could it be
as moving as this?
when I never dreamed of it,
this autumn evening visit
Meaning: Even had I been waiting for you, could it have been as moving as this? Your message on an autumn evening, when I never dreamed of it.
Commentary: Book Fourteen Love Poems IV 844

Headnote: "Composed when Prince Atsumichi, Governor-General of Dazaifu, remembered me in autumn and sent word at a time when our relations had broken off"
This poem was composed when, at a time when her relations with Prince Atsumichi had lapsed, the prince remembered her in autumn and sent word. Even had I been waiting, she says, it would not have been like this, this unlooked-for visit on an autumn evening. On an autumn evening, when brooding deepens, word arrives unexpectedly from someone she had given up on, and she conveys her joy and emotion by comparing it with what waiting would have brought.
The author, "Izumi Shikibu," was the daughter of Ōe no Masamune, Governor of Echizen. She became the wife of Tachibana no Michisada, Governor of Izumi, and bore him Koshikibu no Naishi, and later had love affairs with Prince Tametaka and Prince Atsumichi. She served Jōtōmon'in Shōshi and is known for her passionate love poems. "Prince Atsumichi, Governor-General of Dazaifu" in the headnote was a son of Emperor Reizei and the younger brother of Prince Tametaka. His love affair with Izumi Shikibu is depicted in the Izumi Shikibu Diary.

First line, "matsu tote mo": "tote mo" is a concessive supposition, "even if I had been waiting."
Second line, "kabakari koso wa": "kabakari" means "this much," and "koso" is an emphatic particle that binds with the perfective "aramashika" in the third line.
Third line, "aramashika": "mashika" is the perfective of the counterfactual auxiliary "mashi" and concludes "koso," "it would not have been like this." The poem pauses here.
Fourth line, "omoi mo kakenu": "never dreamed of," showing the message was unexpected. It forms a pair with "matsu," "wait," in the first line.
Fifth line, "aki no yūgure": the poem ends on a noun, leaving as an afterglow her emotion at word arriving unexpectedly on an autumn evening when brooding deepens. Like "yūgure no sora" in 873 in this book, it treats evening as the hour of love.
Author: Izumi Shikibu
Source: Senzai Wakashu
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