Uramu beki kokoro bakari wa aru mono o naki ni nashite mo towanu kimi kana - Senzai Wakashu(English Translation & Meaning)

恨むべき心ばかりはあるものを
なきになしても訪はぬ君かな

Roma-ji: Uramu beki kokoro bakari wa aru mono o naki ni nashite mo towanu kimi kana
English Translation: I still have at least
a heart with which to blame you,
and yet, as if I
were nothing, as if not there,
you never come to call on me
Meaning: I still have a heart, at least, with which to reproach you; and yet you treat me as though I did not exist and never come to visit me.
Commentary: Book Fifteen Love Poems V 958

Headnote: "Topic unknown"
I have at least a heart with which to reproach you, she says, yet you treat me as nothing and never come. Though her self has become all but nothing, the heart that can reproach him surely remains, yet he treats her as though she did not exist and does not come, and she laments it. Holding up the fact that she still has a heart to reproach him, it is a poem that rebukes his coldness.
The author, "Izumi Shikibu," was the daughter of Ōe no Masamune, Governor of Echizen. She became the wife of Tachibana no Michisada, Governor of Izumi, and bore him Koshikibu no Naishi, and later had love affairs with Prince Tametaka and Prince Atsumichi. She served Jōtōmon'in Shōshi and is known for her passionate love poems. A poem of hers is included in the Ogura Hyakunin Isshu.
This poem closes the fifth book of love and with it the love section of the Senzai Wakashū. The opening poem, 904, Sagami's "utatane ni hakanaku sameshi yume o dani," lamented that there was no meeting even in a dream. This final poem reproaches a lover who does not come in waking life either, so that the beginning and end of the book answer each other in the grief of a love that cannot meet. And where 916 and 954 of this book regretted having reproached, this poem closes the book by holding up a heart that can still reproach and rebuking the beloved.

First line, "uramu beki": "beki" is the attributive of "beshi," expressing possibility, "with which to reproach." It shares the theme of reproach with "urami zu wa" in the first line of 916 and "uramishi koto zo" in the fourth line of 954 of this book.
Second line, "kokoro bakari wa": "bakari" is restrictive, "the heart alone."
Third line, "aru mono o": "mono o" is an adversative conjunctive particle, "though it is there."
Fourth line, "naki ni nashite mo": "naki ni nasu" means to treat as nonexistent, pairing with "aru," "is there," in the third line. "Te mo" adds "even going so far as to."
Fifth line, "towanu kimi kana": "tou" means to visit, "nu" is the attributive of the negative "zu," and "kana" exclamatory, "you who never come." Where the opening poem, 904, lamented that there was no meeting even in a dream, the book closes with a lament that he does not come in waking life.
Author: Izumi Shikibu
Source: Senzai Wakashu
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