Ushi tote mo itoi mo hatenu yo no naka o nakanaka nani ni omoishiriken - Senzai Wakashu(English Translation & Meaning)

憂しとても厭ひも果てぬ世の中を
なかなか何に思ひ知りけん

Roma-ji: Ushi tote mo itoi mo hatenu yo no naka o nakanaka nani ni omoishiriken
English Translation: Though it is bitter,
this world I cannot wholly
cast off and be done,
why, then, of all things
did I come to know it well?
Meaning: This is a world I cannot wholly cast away however hard it is; why then, of all things, did I come to know its sorrows so well?
Commentary: Book Seventeen Miscellaneous Poems II 1114

Headnote continued from the preceding poem: "Composed as a poem expressing my grievances in a hundred-poem sequence"
This poem was composed as a poem of grievance in a hundred-poem sequence. Though it is bitter, this world I cannot wholly cast away, why then did I come to know it so well, she says. Knowing the pain of the world does not mean one can abandon it. If one cannot cast it off anyway, it would have been better never to know its pains, and she sings of regret at having come to know the world.
The author, "Tango of the Regent's household," was a daughter of Minamoto no Yoriyuki and a lady in the household of the regent Fujiwara no Kanezane. She later served Kanezane's daughter Gishūmon'in Ninshi and was also called Gishūmon'in no Tango.
It has the same headnote as the preceding poem, 1113. It also shares words with "ushi tote mo" in the third line and "itoihatsubeki" in the fifth line of 1082 of this book. Where 1082 says one cannot wholly spurn oneself, this poem sings of a world one cannot wholly spurn.

First line, "ushi tote mo": "though it is bitter." It is the same phrase as the third line of 1082 of this book.
Second line, "itoi mo hatenu": "that I cannot wholly spurn and cast away." It recalls "itoihatsubeki" in the fifth line of 1082 of this book.
Third line, "yo no naka o": "o" carries a concessive sense, "this world, and yet," leading on.
Fourth line, "nakanaka nani ni": "nakanaka" means "needlessly, all the worse," and "nani ni" means "why."
Fifth line, "omoishiriken": "ken" is the attributive of the past conjectural "kemu," "why did I come to know it?"
Author: Gishumon-in no Tango
Source: Senzai Wakashu
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