Tsurakeredo wasure ya wa suru hodo fureba ito koishiki ni kyō wa makenan - Izumi Shikibu Nikki(English Translation & Meaning)

つらけれと忘れやはする程ふれは
いと戀しきにけふはまけ南

Roma-ji: Tsurakeredo wasure ya wa suru hodo fureba ito koishiki ni kyō wa makenan
English Translation: Though you were cruel,
how could I forget? As time goes on
the longing only grows,
and today, so dear you are to me,
I shall let myself be beaten
Meaning: Though you hurt me, how could I forget you? As time passes I miss you so much that today I will let my longing defeat me.
Commentary: 7 Return from the Pilgrimage

Izumi Shikibu set out on her pilgrimage and returned home after two or three days. Since the night she had refused him, pleading her purification, the prince had not come.
The woman is Izumi Shikibu, daughter of Ōe no Masamune and, as the wife of Tachibana no Michisada, Governor of Izumi, mother of Koshikibu no Naishi. The Prince of the Dazaifu is Prince Atsumichi, fourth son of Emperor Reizei, so called because he served as Governor-General of the Dazaifu.
On her return a letter came from the prince: "I have grown so anxious that I mean to come to you, but that last night was so painful that I feel reluctant and ashamed, and you must think me very neglectful. These days," followed by this poem, and then, "Surely you understand that my feelings are not shallow."
Izumi Shikibu replied with "Makuru tomo mienu mono kara tamakazura tou hito sura mo taema gachi nite." Later the prince came secretly as before, but she had dozed off and no one heard him knocking at the gate, so he went away.

The opening lines mean "though it was cruel, could I forget?" the cruelty being her refusal on the night of her purification, with a rhetorical particle.
The remaining lines mean "as time passes I miss you so, today I will give in," ending in an auxiliary of firm resolve. Likening the game of love to winning and losing, he shows himself yielding, unable to overcome his longing despite the hurt.
Author: Prince Atsumichi
Source: Izumi Shikibu Nikki
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