Uramuran kokoro wa tayuru kagiri naku tanomu kimi o zo ware mo utagau - Izumi Shikibu Nikki(English Translation & Meaning)

うらむらん心はたゆるかきりなく
たのむ君をそ我も疑ふ

Roma-ji: Uramuran kokoro wa tayuru kagiri naku tanomu kimi o zo ware mo utagau
English Translation: Your heart, which you say
holds a grievance without end,
may well never cease;
but you, on whom I lean so wholly,
I too have come to doubt
Meaning: Your heart, which reproaches me without end, may never change; but it is you, on whom I rely without limit, that I too have come to doubt.
Commentary: 34 Rumor and Suspicion

Having resolved to go to the prince's residence, Izumi Shikibu thought that court service was not what she truly wanted at this stage, and that she would rather live in a cave; and yet if more sorrows came, what then? Still, if she were near, she could see how her parents and siblings fared and settle the future of those who were her ties to the world, and so she made up her mind. Until she went, so that no idle rumors might reach his ears, she had her people tell the men who wrote to her that she was away, and sent them no replies. Then a letter came from the prince. It said many things, such as "What a fool I was to rely on you," and ended only with "Very well, then." Her heart sank. There had been many groundless rumors before, but she had let them pass, thinking that what was untrue could not be helped. This time, however, he spoke in earnest, and since some seemed to have caught wind of her resolve, she feared she would become a laughingstock; she was so grieved she could not answer. When the prince wrote again, "Why do you not reply? It makes me think it was true after all. How quickly your heart changes. People told me things; I did not believe them, and only said, if that is how you feel," her heart eased a little, and wanting to know his true feelings, she thought, "If you truly think so."
The woman is Izumi Shikibu, daughter of Ōe no Masamune and, as the wife of Tachibana no Michisada, Governor of Izumi, mother of Koshikibu no Naishi. The Prince of the Dazaifu is Prince Atsumichi, fourth son of Emperor Reizei, so called because he served as Governor-General of the Dazaifu.
When the prince's "Utagawaba mata uchimiji to omoedomo kokoro ni kokoro kanawazarikeri" arrived, Izumi Shikibu sent back this poem.
As they exchanged these words the day drew to a close, and the prince came and said, "People are still talking, so I spoke as I did, though I did not believe it. If you do not want such things said, come away with me." At dawn he went home.

The opening lines speak of "your heart that reproaches me," answering his lament that his heart will not stop resenting, with an auxiliary of present conjecture. The third line, "without limit," both completes the sense that his reproach never ceases and leads into the next line, "relying without limit."
The lower verses mean "it is you, on whom I rely, that I too doubt," sealed by an emphatic construction. Taking up his "should I doubt," she answers that he is not the only one who doubts: it is precisely because she relies on him so completely that she too cannot help doubting his heart, presenting their mutual doubts as the other face of the depth of their love.
Author: Izumi Shikibu
Source: Izumi Shikibu Nikki
Prev Poem: Utagawaba mata uchimiji to omoedomo kokoro ni kokoro kanawazarikeri
Next Poem: Shimogare wa wabishikarikeri akikaze no fuku ni wa ogi no otozure mo shiki