Shinoburu mo kurushikarikeri kazu naranu mi ni wa namida no nakaramashikaba - Shika Wakashu(English Translation & Meaning)

忍ぶるも苦しかりけり数ならぬ
身には涙のなからましかば

Roma-ji: Shinoburu mo kurushikarikeri kazu naranu mi ni wa namida no nakaramashikaba
English Translation: Hiding it away
has proved to be pain as well —
if only this self,
so worthless and of no account,
had no tears at all to shed
Meaning: Keeping my feelings hidden is painful too; if only this worthless self of mine had no tears to shed.
Commentary: Book Nine Miscellaneous Poems I 325

The poet laments the pain of hiding her feelings and wishes that, being of no account, she had no tears at all. The counterfactual wish conveys the anguish of knowing that falling tears would reveal the love she conceals.
Its final line, "nakaramashikaba," is the same as that of 271, the last poem of Book Eight; where that poem wished there were no longing, this one wishes there were no tears.

The first line, "shinoburu mo," refers to hiding one's feelings from others, singled out with "mo."
The second line, "kurushikarikeri," uses the exclamatory "keri," realizing that it is painful, with a break after the second line.
The third line, "kazu naranu" (of no account), means insignificant.
The fourth line, "mi ni wa namida no" (for this self, tears), takes up tears in relation to her worthless self.
The final line, "nakaramashikaba," sets a counterfactual condition with "mashika," the irrealis of "mashi," and "ba," breaking off before the consequence: if only there were no tears.
Source: Shika Wakashu
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