先立たむことを憂しとぞ思ひしに
後れても又悲しかりけり
後れても又悲しかりけり
- Roma-ji
-
Sakidatamu koto o ushi to zo omoishi ni okurete mo mata kanashikarikeri
- English Translation
-
That I'd go before her
I had thought the bitter thing,
and yet I find
being left behind by her
is also full of sorrow
- Meaning
- I had thought it would be bitter to die before my mother, yet being left behind by her, I find, is sorrowful too.
- Commentary
-
Book Nine Poems of Lament 598
Headnote: "Composed when, having grieved during an illness that I might die before my mother, I recovered that time, and afterward my mother died"
When the poet fell ill, he grieved that he might die before his mother; he recovered that time, and later, when his mother died, he composed this poem. I thought it bitter to die first, he says, yet being left behind is sad too. He who feared the unfilial act of dying before his parent, now on the side of the one who sees a parent off, learns that the grief of being left behind is just as deep, showing how inescapable the parting of parent and child is.
The author, "the Monk Jōen," was a monk of the late Heian period and one of the poets who gathered at the Karin'en. An anecdote about him also appears in Kamo no Chōmei's Mumyōshō.
First line, "sakidatamu": "mu" is the attributive of a softening auxiliary, "to die first."
Second line, "koto o ushi to zo": the emphatic "zo" closes with the attributive "shi" in the third line.
Third line, "omoishi ni": "shi" is the attributive of the past "ki" and "ni" concessive, "though I thought so."
Fourth line, "okurete mo mata": "being left behind by my mother, again." Poem 553 of this book sings of the wish not to be left behind, "okureji to."
Fifth line, "kanashikarikeri": "keri" expresses realization, "it was sad." It is the same last line as 584 of this book.
- Author
- Jōen
- Source
- Senzai Wakashu
- Prev Poem
-
Omoiki ya kyō uchinarasu kane no oto ni tsutaeshi fue no ne o soen to wa
- Next Poem
-
Matsuramu to omowaba ika ni isogamashi ato o mi ni dani madou kokoro o