Koishinan mi wa oshikarazu au koto ni kaen hodo made to omou bakari zo - Senzai Wakashu(English Translation & Meaning)

恋ひ死なん身は惜しからず逢ふことに
代へんほどまでと思ふばかりぞ

Roma-ji: Koishinan mi wa oshikarazu au koto ni kaen hodo made to omou bakari zo
English Translation: This body that will die
of love I do not hold dear;
only I would live
until I could trade it in
for a meeting with my love
Meaning: I do not hold dear this life that will end in dying of love; I only hope to keep it until I can trade it for a meeting with her.
Commentary: Book Twelve Love Poems II 730

Headnote: "Composed as a love poem when a poetry contest was held at the house of the Later Sanjō Palace Minister"
Composed as a love poem when a poetry contest was held at the house of the Later Sanjō Palace Minister. I do not hold dear this body that will die of love, he says; I only think of keeping it until I can trade it for a meeting. It is not for his own sake that he values his life, but only because he would exchange it for a single meeting, expressing a love staked on life itself.
The author, "the monk Dōin," was the son of Fujiwara no Kiyotaka. His lay name was Atsuyori, and he is known for his deep devotion to poetry until late in life. He has a poem in the Ogura Hyakunin Isshu.
The first line, "koishinan," is the same as in 722 of this book, and 759 and 762 open with it too. Where 725 wished for a meeting not bought with life, this poem and 734 seek to trade life for a meeting, treating the same theme from the opposite direction.

First line, "koishinan": "n" is the attributive of the conjectural "mu," "that will die of love." Poems 722, 759 and 762 of this book open with the same line.
Second line, "mi wa oshikarazu": "I do not hold my body dear." The poem pauses here.
Third line, "au koto ni": "for a meeting with her," leading to "kaen" in the fourth line.
Fourth line, "kaen hodo made to": "n" is the attributive of the volitional "mu," "until I can trade it." It has eight syllables, one too many. Unlike "inochi ni kaenu" in the fourth line of 725, it seeks to exchange life for a meeting.
Fifth line, "omou bakari zo": "bakari" is limiting and "zo" emphatic, "that is all I think."
Author: Dōin
Source: Senzai Wakashu
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